I Break My Own Heart

Reminding myself that I break my own heart
I’m cruel to my delicate sentiments
following whims for fun
disregarding the pain along the way
disrespecting my own soul
just for the sake of an emotional high
that catapults from the deepest wells
and lands into the orbit of nothing
dissapating and dissolving into the ether

Where are the loves lost?
never gained in the first place
but fisted mouth first
the purple and the blue
reminds me of dark matter
and the tittering glittery stars.

I break my own heart just to soar
I break my own heart just to feel
the coldness of the universe.

You Pulled Me Out of the Sky

Eventually falling forward
fist in mouth, heart seeping through fingers
and you want me,
you called me out from the sky.

Full forced wind tunnels like guns shooting
swept by your tongue, and eyes like dandelions
I’m burned as I look away
even though you called me out from the sky.

I said- I love you back– in whispers
but you sold my gaze to the trees
they tuck them in each leaf
and they fall colorless…
but you called for me,
you pulled me out of the sky.

On the F Train

A man tries not to doze off
as flowers fall from his lap
eternity keeps calling him
and he startles just to hang up

He picks up the petals
and arranges them in a bouquet between his fingers
a heartbroken kiss lands on them

Basin of Illusions

I’ve broken my own heart
I looked into the basin of illusions
Handpicked the words
Re-arranged the pictures
And filled a book
With your name

I’ve taken nothing in
And yet I feel so full
My heart is a talented little thing
A magician of sorts
An alchemist
To re-arrange what “could be”
And place the “should be” heavy
Until it couldn’t be
So, I’m suffocating
In a love I made up
All on my own

Well, what else can you do girl?
Cry and cry and cry
How else are we to live?
But what if the strings you see get cut?
Why don’t we follow them?
I don’t care to find out why
I’ll cut myself free
And run the other way
But you loved him, did you not?

Oh, how cruel the sound of nails
Reaching into a waterless basin
Thirsty for water
While the tears won’t dry