sentimental dance of the knights

my failures i stretch them thin
cut it up and pound them to dust
and blow them into the wind
has anyone seen the umbrella?
it’s raining and i don’t want to get drenched
everyone is out lavishing in it
and i’m hesitating again
i stay and watch and wait
i lose everything and laugh
isn’t it curious how it all falls through?
water through my fingers
all of life like water through my fingers
my failures now enriching the gardens of another
my failures now causing allergies
look at how they sneeze
look it there mingling with the pollen
i’m no longer searching for an umbrella
i’m laughing a little too hard
when i should be wailing
but failing seems to be funny now
how am i to live now?
i find nothing serious enough to capture
i find nothing interesting enough
to strip myself and humiliate myself for
i gather what’s left of my skirts
and wander through the crammed streets
and wander i will
wondering about nothing anymore.

written while listening to: Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s piece, “Valse Sentimentale” and Sergei Prokofiev’s piece, “Romeo & Juliet: Act I, Scene XIII, Dance of the Knights” from this playlist: