may letters

~ Nuciferas ~ Leave a comment

This month I will write letters to May. I’ve written ‘letters’ to months before but never explained or commented on why I write them. Writing poetry requires something, usually it requires an emotion behind them to spark the words and as I am finding lately my emotions are always leaning towards the strange side of the spiritual landscape. In my own time, I explore and play with the ideas of gods, the soul, and the territory in which these ideas would thrive in if these ideas were actually something you can see and hold. So, here I am with May underway, and thoughts of the soul and its journey.

Curiously, I wrote them while listening to Beach House’s Thank Your Lucky Stars (a really good album, give it a listen) and in a sitting thinking of the journey of the moon through the constellations each day. I chose to write every other day, capturing each sign since the moon tends to stay a day or two in the same sign to avoid unnecessary repetitiveness. These May Letters will be an exploration of the soul as the moon moves through the zodiac constellations, taking into consideration the planet ruler of each sign.

Hope you enjoy them, and find something in them for you.

just a few words

~ Nuciferas

do i wanna share
a few lines on love?
my darling i’m in the shade of an old oak
my heart is preoccupied with nothing
i can’t give you what you want
because i have nothing good on offer
if i were to share a few lines on love
i would sound like a cynic
born yesterday to the shoebill stork

how strong are you?
how strong are we?
isn’t it all to build a team?
to keep it all together
but no one wants to keep
because to keep
means to guard
in the cruelness
of competition

don’t i wanna share a few words on love?
they say love is devotion
devotion is attention
but attention to what?
beloved i’m attentive to the seasons
and embrace them with my own
i wish to travel with the four winds
i don’t want to root
i want to run to the west
and flee to the north
hide in the east
and head to the south when it gets cold

it’s always raining
and the humidity tickles my skin
i’m always laughing
even with empty pockets
what’s on offer love?
i got nothing to show off as a prize
darling i’m sitting under this old oak
figuring out the conversation etiquette
of old roots
i’m fine i’m okay…
a few words on love
in this world
is a cake on display

a valse

~ Nuciferas

i would daydream for an hour
waiting at a bus stop
as it rains
watching the cars go on by
letting the bus slip on through
sitting with a grief
of an unknown love
or a heartbreak i made up
playing with the feelings
as the water drips over my fingers
tapping my soaked shoes
to the beat of the rushing patter
of passersby
catching the bus
hailing a taxi
and going where they want to go
or not want to go
all of this dancing before me
as i play with grief
made up or something tinged with the past
digging it up just to see
if my heart can feel
if i can feel
daydreaming for just an hour
holding it close
i am really human
and these feelings i feel
i feel them
as i play with the thought
that sometimes
numbing the senses
leads to a deafening silence…
i’ll pretend and then the realism sets in
and yes once again
i’m human
i feel, i feel, i feel

notes in eighths

~ Nuciferas

the trill of the crow’s song
reaches the inseams of the ground
up from below
something crawls out
you mean to call on the illusions
but the void has their reasons
the trill upends a little door
letting way something that grew

send the signal with the sighs
heaving lungs can quit on sight
by the by
the tarot screamed your name
why yes, i’ve been sleeping with the dead
the signal in sighs woke me up
the heaviness of your lungs
has given you enough to worry about

hey lover playing in my dreams
you see the red, the blood stained seas?
the blood stained sands, these blood stained grounds
i’ve been bathing in all my deaths
the crows keep trilling, singing my elegy
hey lover, isn’t all of this sublime?
i grip the grapnel
i roll around in my night

the void has their reasons
here is one: it’s lonely
because everything and anything will fill
but no need to fill, turn away
i fled and ended up in a massacre
because i was bored
because the crows needed a reason for a song
because i’m cannibalizing and rebirthing myself

a heart is strange

~ Nuciferas

a declaration is needed
but my heart fists my mouth
a thing of words needs to be unraveled
but my heart sharpens a knife
my mind is working on unveiling
but my heart is at the ready,
ladies, ladies, ladies
can we get it together?

this declaration is needed
these words are escaping
these things are becoming more apparent
the world is casted by the light of a single rose
but as i continue, and want to continue
the pink turns red
there my heart stands
cutting through
mouthing, “nothing will be said
i rebel against a love
made up in your head”

a hungry thing

~ Nuciferas

nails scrape the scute
hard diamond eyes
you love to get lost
and carry a necklace of hearts as souvenirs
they could never tell
those eyes never give away
the disarming weakness of your gait
and the trouble arises within their psyche
but you get through so well
and soon blood drops from your lips
down between your fingers
and staining the grass maroon
how disquieting it seems to the sun that gazes
while you shine a little too bright

in the middle of the woods

~ Nuciferas

a frantic hand sweeps your face
eyes as blue as the deepest sea
a faint aroma of desperation
your skin has lost all color
a strange twist in the loop of your words
and the rhythm is off its melody
a frantic hand waves at me
the pools of your tides beckon
“jump in” you say
i step back and away
“come join me” you say
i look towards the sky
a canopy of branches and leaves
“please don’t leave me”
i look to where i came
“i don’t want to be alone”
i supposed you got lost on purpose
i supposed you didn’t need anyone
but in a dream, your desperation
reached me like a ring of a phone
i shouldn’t have picked it up
i said hello
and you were gone