sentimental dance of the knights

my failures i stretch them thin
cut it up and pound them to dust
and blow them into the wind
has anyone seen the umbrella?
it’s raining and i don’t want to get drenched
everyone is out lavishing in it
and i’m hesitating again
i stay and watch and wait
i lose everything and laugh
isn’t it curious how it all falls through?
water through my fingers
all of life like water through my fingers
my failures now enriching the gardens of another
my failures now causing allergies
look at how they sneeze
look it there mingling with the pollen
i’m no longer searching for an umbrella
i’m laughing a little too hard
when i should be wailing
but failing seems to be funny now
how am i to live now?
i find nothing serious enough to capture
i find nothing interesting enough
to strip myself and humiliate myself for
i gather what’s left of my skirts
and wander through the crammed streets
and wander i will
wondering about nothing anymore.

written while listening to: Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s piece, “Valse Sentimentale” and Sergei Prokofiev’s piece, “Romeo & Juliet: Act I, Scene XIII, Dance of the Knights” from this playlist:


i’ll cut out my heart when it’s of no use
for you i’ll cut out my heart
so it can be some use for you
lead me to the seas of your desires
and lay into me the saltiness of your years
that have shadowed the best of your passions
i’ll cut out my heart when it’s of no use
for you i’ll cut out my heart
so it can be some use for you
where you drink the wine of my years
and recoil at the staining of your sands
but wonder of the rain
where does it come from?
and when will it end?
i’ll cut out my heart when it’s of no use to me
so it will serve some use for you
and swim into the ocean
swell the tides until all the blue merges
and pull heaven down
onto the beaches of your soul

written while listening to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s piece, “Requiem Mass in D Minor, K. 626: III. Lacrimosa”

the fragility of your love

“come on sing me a lullaby
lull my senses
please me to pieces
with words that honey
not those sour words of yours”
my sour words
and my bloody hands
playing with god
and taunting death
a sweet love?
that sounds like something
some thing that sugars the day
but never truly satisfies the hunger
only creates an obsession with satiety
listen now
to this song of mine
that bows over metal strings
of a heart that shrieks
at the sight of someone
pleading on their knees
it only rouses the wildness
of wanting to devour a heart whole
and leave its bones of desire
laying in the desert sun

written while listening to Camille Saint-Saëns’ piece “Danse Macabre”