a sigh

what do i say to the feelings that spill?
they run down too fast
and evaporate as I
try to whisper them

what do you say to those fleeing?
they run from you
fooling you with their side shuffles
little crabs, snapping the claws
to the beat of your broken heart

what can we say to those who refuse to love us?
we wallow in our own mess
call it a swamp
and fester with the silence
until we blend in with everything

what can we say about a person?
broken down into cubbyholes
the meaning just withering between the lips
evaporating with the breath
hoping to be more than a whisper

disastrous

i too have someone who speaks to me in the dark
the shadows of shadows, burnt umbra of a heart
and a sullen smile crooked in its wake.
the sadness of the soul dissipates in the contrast of the days. singling out the tumors, overgrown thoughts clumped and blocking new ones. the growth of a tomorrow stained by the sorrows of today.
i too have someone who speaks to me in the dark, a shadow of a shadow, a name within a name, the tectonic shifts of broken pieces of a heart determined to stay within the lines of a god, within the maze of the celestial plane.

a march morning

on a march morning
rain falls and falls
the love songs coo in your ears
and the sheet of rain
gently kisses your skin
on a march morning
a cold, cold day
wrapped up in memories
in melancholy
the drops of cool water
cleanses them away slowly
scene by scene
face by face
running down your fingertips
and fading into the cement
on a march morning
the cool rain
rid you of all that you couldn’t
hold on to anymore

estrangement

the search for love
the search for warmth
can lead you to strange beds
with strange fellows
holding strange emotions
straddled between cages
you have no key to open

the search for compassion
the search for empathy
can lead to a strange plea
that holds your pieces
that fall when you’re not looking
nestling between cracks
you have no eyes for

your humanity fractured
hinging on what you can collect
on what you can hold on to
and of what others can make of it
can lead to the estrangement
to your own soul

rainy day

blemished skin by the humidity that passes. the clouds look so careless, they leave as they came, swirling into itself before it crawls on forward. the sky holds and the sky lets go. your eyes pull and they push and i let go. waters fill into every crack on the asphalt. droplets pounding against the pavement, creating music as it hits the plastic of the umbrella with tiny little fists knocking insistently. i don’t insist. i fall over gently and join the queue heading into the sewers. the tires swish about the leftover rain, propelling them onto those waiting to cross corners, waiting to wait for the bus. i’m a little raft on my own, my spirit is sanitized with each prayer, the dark shields me from the sky, the tunnel filters us out. the promise of paradise is nothing to aim for. paradise is the breeze playing with your hair. i close my eyes. if i try hard enough i become the sky.

the pond

time is water. the pond is a mirror and a door. once it flowed over and the droplets felt like rain on my knuckles. you shouted but i couldn’t make out the words. but your lips looked so pretty moving. you became a statue that moved and then retreated back into the frame. time froze you under a sheet of ice, it mirrored the sky and on occasion my searching face in pursuit of yours. the curtained water, melting as the summer is well under way. you make it through one more time. your hands reach out, your arms peel away from the water and they reach my face. i am the anchor that pulls you up and the daydream is real. your lips are real, your face is real, you are real. a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye. you retreat into winter, you lay still. you wait for my feet to unhinge from the ground and climb into the water with you. so soon, oh soon, i just can’t seem to learn to swim.

1154

you never wanted me that’s for sure clear as the sky is the eggshell blue painted on the walls the one where you placed your hands and after you asked me if I saw god I saw god walking in a garden when I was five but I saw you working too hard to be loved and not do any loving in return you never wanted me that’s a truth you roll in your mouth chewing on my faith and blowing bubbles out of my sweetness while mocking my affections over another soft hide and you hide in the fire of her eyes you never wanted anything well not from me dirty nails dirt under your nails and you were offended that I didn’t want you to come digging yourself up through me you don’t want you devour a monster of the makings of a love denied from you a making of something you picture to have stolen your human you never wanted me that’s clear as the sky is clear for me now I see why I know why I see how and now as I clean the pavement hose in hand rushing waters cleaning the dirty mess of you how a shattered heart ran so far distorting the image of love whenever held

seesaw

you’re a good man saying the words just so you’re a good woman now artfully swinging the melody of your lips and you’re a good good man and those legs of yours washing the air perfuming the air with courage steadiness you’re a good woman turning away you’re a good woman saying no you’re a good woman wanting a good man you’re a good man for blaming nothing about nothing slipping into nonchalance so handsome with manners but you don’t want a good woman you want a something you want to conquer and place a flag on the back of an ass just to say you did you don’t want a good woman you want a yes woman a woman who never says no a woman who throws herself and wants to be thrown you want a good man good woman because love is so quaint so dainty when it’s artfully done yet you say no yet you don’t want to be thrown because good woman there is no good man and good man you don’t want a human being you could barely stand in your own humanness goodness is not love but love is good a recipe known to those who understand their own humanity

serving size

have a dream in a cup
well sugared
oh no sugar?
no sugar
have a dream in a cup
filled to the brim
too much?
not enough?
let it spill
cascading over your dry skin
feeling the wet
feeling the realness
of a dream
have a dream in a cup
foam kisses your lips
now you’re in love
let it seep down into your soul
let it graze the corona of your personal sun
and keep that dream in your cup
don’t allow it to fall into a void
don’t let it near a black hole
pour it out when you had enough
but pour it out over a mouth
don’t let your dream go to waste
let it nourish someone else
have a dream in a cup
and see the measure of your days