on a tuesday with the full moon in capricorn

to think of you beloved
is to dig into my poetic arsenal:

you the distant star that pulls and dances
you the strength of a mountain
but the softness of a summer evening
you the wave, the fold, the height and depth of the ocean

but i know in my heart
you are but a man beloved
skin a tapestry and testament of your life lived
eyes that search and find
hands that reach and hold

may you always be as human as you are
with grace
with strength
and with softness

unknown mazes

you float away into the unknown mazes of the makings of your own snaking excuses that fill your mouth with venom that corrodes your tongue as you speak with words that spiral and hold you afloat in the unknown mazes of your thought patterns that spiral and fall into your heart who is so desperate for warmth in the cold cavity of your perpetual winters in which you’ve grown comfortable in the snowfall of your gaze falling into your excuses and excuse me for asking, but how long can you live frozen in fear?

a prayer, an affirmation

I know what I am, I know what I’m made of-
simple routines stick to the surface like buoys in the trapped water in the open cavities of the sea
I know what I am, my worth I know it-
the gaze is so simple and yet it pierces. when it can it buries. when it wants it collapses
I know, I know
in all that is, and all that there is to know
I know what I am, I know what I’m made of

the ruler is too long

rather sheepishly I hide
watching from the 4th floor window
life blossoming and dying
each season a beacon of possibilities
and I take none
they take what they can
party favors at the end of a celebration
but no one gets what they want
hands up, eyes up
lilting strengths, tears that never dry

all of my failures

some are motivated by fear
that fear rouses their anxiety
and they go running madly towards
all the things their heart is aiming at
fear does not motivate me
it arrests me
the illusions create shackles
and I overthink my solutions
to dust

some find themselves in others
place it upon their dressings
like a patch, etching a name
and become a quilt of all that tread
on their skin
I find nothing in others
to place upon myself
I’m naked and perusing strange gardens
half expecting a snake to taunt me
with a fig while calling it an apple

is this all there is?
you creator of all that is me
is this all that’s left?
am I just to tread on others flesh?
bear the markings and wave the flags?
I cannot find satisfaction
in painting my face
and rehearsing lines for a lover
I will never know

I cannot find satisfaction in this kind of love
so I refuse love
I refuse it!
if that is love I want nothing of it
if that is life
then leave me on a mountain
let me greet you
let me scold you
for what have you done?
all this flesh will rot
my dressings are not upon me
I am failing and nothing will love a thing like me
but I will chase the unseen
and live a life they believe to be obscene
not motivated by fear
my heart is not aiming at anything
my soul will not become a parasite
I will gaze at the sky until I die
and point my soul out of this body
and fly until the fire burns out

a penny for your thoughts

my dear man here’s a penny
and some change
did the sharpness of your eyes
truly fade with time?
i’m standing in your light
but i’m also hiding in your shadows
tracing a bit of something
a glitter of something
i’m trying to decipher
as i pick the speck
and invent a harness
tie it where?
my dear man here’s a penny
and some face
how are we to know ourselves
as we get lost in each other’s maze?
i wonder about that heart of yours
do you ever wonder about this heart of mine?
i’m sure you have other things
that occupy all of your time
i’m just the wind in your hair
a whisper in your ear at midnight
and you dream of me
as i walk through clouds
and fall into your mind
my dear man, is this penny not enough?
i’m not enough, so you walk on
running your fingers through your hair
the breeze is just so strong
and midnights murmur your favorite song
and dreams don’t mean much anyways
eventually all doors just close shut
and never open again

looking glass

and I fell into the disarray
some banging on and some racing through
crashing and striking
lulling the senses to violence
as simple as the next breath.
I fell into the display
a mockery of childish fairytales
with endings that flourish
and knot into a ribbon
a creeping note and a sweeping melody
a sharpness and a choreography
that delays the senses.
pick up all your weapons
and dance along
whip the trees and cut down the roses
here we try to dispose of all of it
why is the richness of life
now bludgeoned neatly
into a cardboard box?
and I kept falling through
a looking glass that shattered
my own bloody fingers
my own eyes watching
the dismayed expressions
the listless dance
the demands of the heart
broken between lips
that can’t ask for more
for its been counted and sorted
for someone else

let me weave a string of fate

to open without hesitation
and no wound to become an obstruction
to a flow that should be natural
and nothing would deter its path
to your heart
and then to mine
to open and bloom like sweet peas
and hydrangeas with their luscious ornate petals
to open without the sense of incoming doom
and the fear of mockery
to say the words as hot as they feel
and let it flow

let me sing the melody
an orchestral whisper into dusted corners
the reverb would upturn the curtains
and somehow the veils would vanish
somehow it will seem as real as the sun shining
illuminating the blue blue sky
spearing through the cottonous clouds

opening without hesitation
a vaporous foam
a froth of petals
every uncertainty a crackle of fire disappearing
and lighting all and every path
from me
to you