a valse

i would daydream for an hour
waiting at a bus stop
as it rains
watching the cars go on by
letting the bus slip on through
sitting with a grief
of an unknown love
or a heartbreak i made up
playing with the feelings
as the water drips over my fingers
tapping my soaked shoes
to the beat of the rushing patter
of passersby
catching the bus
hailing a taxi
and going where they want to go
or not want to go
all of this dancing before me
as i play with grief
made up or something tinged with the past
digging it up just to see
if my heart can feel
if i can feel
daydreaming for just an hour
holding it close
i am really human
and these feelings i feel
i feel them
as i play with the thought
that sometimes
numbing the senses
leads to a deafening silence…
i’ll pretend and then the realism sets in
and yes once again
i’m human
i feel, i feel, i feel