i wished for gold, i got lessons in change. i wanted a bigger home, i got a message in psalms about materials being just things, to learn about god and not the god they tell you about. i wanted to see the stars, i get a sunrise every morning. i wanted a soul mate and i got another day to wallow in poetry unwritten, just hanging by my teeth, the grind of each word buried underneath my tongue. i wanted the world and i got the moon pulling at my toes. i wanted to be wanted and i got days filled with empty promises, little voids i fill in the night with prayer wanting more than i can hold in my heart. i wanted a bigger heart and i got an achy soul asking for water and asking for warmth. i drink deeply from every cup and think that maybe another sunrise will do, and another sunset will fill, and another moon cycle will pull at the tatters and unravel me until i am just well. i am well, i am well, i am a well, i wanted to be filled, and all i got was a rain shower.