I Break My Own Heart

Reminding myself that I break my own heart
I’m cruel to my delicate sentiments
following whims for fun
disregarding the pain along the way
disrespecting my own soul
just for the sake of an emotional high
that catapults from the deepest wells
and lands into the orbit of nothing
dissapating and dissolving into the ether

Where are the loves lost?
never gained in the first place
but fisted mouth first
the purple and the blue
reminds me of dark matter
and the tittering glittery stars.

I break my own heart just to soar
I break my own heart just to feel
the coldness of the universe.