Neptune in the 12th House

I’m alone

God is here making magic
But they won’t conjure nothing for me,
“wait a minute, just one more minute” they promised me

But I forget
A minute for God is longer than it is for me
Mortal that I am cannot see
that God has eternity
and waiting would be foolish

I’m alone

I make magic from my silences
In my silences I make up a love
From that love I drink
From my own magic I live

loose ends

let it go
the loose ends of feelings
his soft gaze is meaningless
if his soul is far from your grasping fingers
not everything that is thrown
is meant to be caught

let it go
the fraying ends will eventually knot
you’ll find a new beginning
to wrap your emotions
around a new thing to love
to fold it over, to nourish, to hold

let it be my heart
let me love my heart
so much, a soft gaze won’t be noticed
unless the soul reaches
and grasps me
with both hands

A Sweet Illusion

A gracious thank you to the sweetness
in your soft glances
I held them and loved them so
A thank you to the frustration
the communications all lost in the crackles
the electricity never sparking into fire
but it managed to light up a few dark corners in my heart
A thank you to whatever you felt
the feelings lost in the moments
that life never tries to hold onto
for the fear that nothing will ever grow
if it stands too still
and finally a distant embrace, a kiss sent with the wind
for a vagabond muse

A Strange and Wild Thing

Don’t remember what it feels like
to hold a feeling deep within
the chambers of my heart
don’t know what it means
to speak a soft word
to an expectant ear
don’t seem to recall
the sweet taste
of lips opening up to mine

What are we without these things?
a mere fragment in a machine
a cog unpolished
a string left untied flapping in the wind
something borrowed
and something too blue
that fades back into the sky
an upward end
a dissolving of something
too wild

I Break My Own Heart

Reminding myself that I break my own heart
I’m cruel to my delicate sentiments
following whims for fun
disregarding the pain along the way
disrespecting my own soul
just for the sake of an emotional high
that catapults from the deepest wells
and lands into the orbit of nothing
dissapating and dissolving into the ether

Where are the loves lost?
never gained in the first place
but fisted mouth first
the purple and the blue
reminds me of dark matter
and the tittering glittery stars.

I break my own heart just to soar
I break my own heart just to feel
the coldness of the universe.